Okcupid Advice

Anonymous asked: At first, you came off as a bitch when I was reading your comments. Then I kept reading. Keep fighting the good fight! I mean, come on. If you want a girl to wear baby clothes and shit all over your feet while you masturbate into her bonnet while in the middle of the woods, you should really lure her in with a normal date first. Why don't they get this?

Anonymous asked: Why are you so fucking awesome?

daddy issues.

what’s up!

Apr 3, 2011 – 6:29pm

do you hit pookie?

20% Enemy 64% Friend 65% Match

ADVICE: i think that asking someone if they smoke meth is more of a second message kind of deal. if you’re a straight male looking for a straight female take a picture of yourself, review it, if you look like a lesbian, delete it.

May 10, 2011 – 11:00am

i fucken love cats but dont have one right now. That’s ok though cause my neighborhood is filled with them and there all very friendly. I can fix your bike. whats wrong with it? Why did you get kicked out of Disneyland? Also, i had making fun of people as my old ‘im really good at to.’ i like ska, im not a pussy, and i make rude crass jokes all damn day. hit me up. lets pick on people. it helps raise my self esteem, or so i was told by my fifth grade teacher.

30% Enemy 39% Friend 83% Match

ADVICE: i’m all for the alternative lifestyle but this shit is fucking ridiculous, a pierced UPPER lip? gtfo of here. next time make sure you photoshop the spinach out of your teeth before posting a pic of yourself on a dating website.

Hello

Mar 27, 2011 – 1:45p

Hey there, my name is George and I have to be completely honest here. You are absolutely stunning, but what is most attractive is that you seem to be very laid back and easy going. I am honest, hard working, caring and fun spirited. If you are down for getting to know someone like that hit reply and lets get to know each other. I am hoping you do

28% Enemy 64% Friend 85% Match

ADVICE: you might want to try reading something in the profile of someone you’re trying to get a reply from. don’t do what this thin lipped douchey fuck face did and send out that mass message. any moron can tell the difference. just loving the gelled up receding hair line, it really gives me that “cool dad” vibe.

Anonymous asked: How do you make a guy feel good?

ADVICE: put out right away like, right away.

Anonymous asked: where is the best place to meet someone from a dating site like this?

ADVICE: some place dark.

Anonymous asked: Good job on having a super homophobic, transphobic, ableist blog.

Check your fucking prejudice.

ADVICE: gtfo

ultragraphique asked: how big is too big?

ADVICE: gay guys should stick to Grindr.

you never know if you never try

Mar 6, 2011 – 1:26am

hi, my name is Brandon. I was checking out your profile and you seem like a pretty cool chick, seem pretty tough and If you’re interested I would like to challenge you to a joint rolling contest! 

Then we can smoke em :) what do you think?

19% Enemy 27% Friend 71%

ADVICE: when taking a photo of yourself for an internet dating website; try not to look like such a fat (wrinkled shirt wearing, just rolled out of bed) slob.